What do you mean you don’t bathe your onions in fresh imported mountain spring water made from the melted snow caps of the Himalayas before you sautée?
Upon cleaning out the darkest depths of my grandmother’s fridge, I discovered food that is older than me. This expired in February… 1987. This can saw Reaganomics. This can saw The Challenger explode. It saw the fall of the Soviet Union. It was around when Tupac got shot. Both times. This can is older than The Simpsons. #bruh
Remember when I was temporarily blind and my mom took me shopping but I got lost in the parking lot and ended up confused and in a hole and she just took pictures instead of helping me
this was wild from start to finish
We look happy, but we actually almost died in this corn maze. 🌽 (at Regal Corn Maze)
i have never recovered from the time i read a comment online where someone said benedict cumberbatch looks like the pod race commentators from star wars i: the phantom menace
me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable
this is me
Jessica Lange ignores Lea Michele at the red carpet premiere of American Horror Story: Freakshow.